She's a Tiger... Growl

Ha! It's been what... nearly a month since I've posted. Sorry bout that...

Munich was a shock to the system. The air bit at my skin, sending shivers of chill that I had completely forgotten about in SE Asia. Wasn’t in March? What’s going on here? Everywhere I looked, it was mostly white people, people similar to my height and build… something I found… strange. I have been mostly surrounded by small, petite Asians for the last three months. I was no longer a white giant, but just your average Jo… or Julie rather.

I put in a hard workout before I left Thailand. My flight from Phuket to Bangkok didn’t leave until 9:30 pm because my flight from Bangkok to Cairo then on to Munich didn’t leave until 12:45 am, so that meant I could fit in a whole day of training before I took off. I was grateful for how that worked out. That way I could spend the day working out and rushing around getting last minute pics with trainers and friends instead of dwelling on the cloud of melancholy disappointment that threatened to hover over my head. I didn’t want to leave. I was comfortable with my surroundings, with my daily routine, with the companionship I had found. I know why I liked Chalong (the area where I was staying and training in Phuket) so much. I was training hard about 7 hours everyday – that’s something I’ve missed and yearned for, ever since my second knee surgery ended my dreams of becoming a soccer star. I was, for the first time in SE Asia, more properly delving into the local culture as I befriended my trainers and shared in a local custom (Muay Thai) that makes up their way of life. I still had access to plenty of Western comforts because Phuket is immensely touristy, but I was staying off the beaten tourist track in Chalong. I had stability with the trainers and long-term guests and I had exciting, new prospects with the flush of guests that cycled through more quickly. I had time in between workouts to cruise out to the beach on my motobike, relax, reflect and read. I really felt like I had it all. Physical pursuits and mental development. Stability and constant change.

But… the cash flow was drying up. I was training and not working. The longer I stayed, the faster I burned through what I had saved. In the meantime, I was improving quickly in training and becoming addicted to Muay Thai. The new sport was also giving me an added confidence. I’ve been traveling around the world on my own without knowing a lick of self-defense. Muay Thai is more of an aggressive sport than a defensive one, but I now know that I can pack proper punches, jabs, hooks, uppercuts, elbows, kicks and knees. I can also read another’s actions well enough to, more often than not, block myself from damaging blows coming at me. Not bad.

So… Muay Thai, boxing, kick boxing, whatever… is a skill I definitely still want to develop. That’s why I promised the owner, Will, and all my new Thai boxer friends that I’d come back. (Will shares my last name… ironically enough.) Better yet, the owner promised I would get to stay and train for free when I come back provided that I would serve as head photographer and capture all the trainers’ fights while I stayed. So I get to trade doing something I love for something I love. Not a bad deal! I went to the fights on my own and took pics… because that’s what I do. I showed them to the owner and he loved them. Sweet! And, only with that promise of being able to return, I was able to tear myself away.

I was rather surprised at how those at the camp demonstrated that they might miss me just as much I would miss them. So many people are coming and going everyday, but Will took the time to put a special post on the Website message board about my departure. He also had the manager, Cori, follow me around and take pics of my final day of training… so I would have pictures of myself, he said. It was an immensely humbling gesture and, well, I felt good to know people care. Will also commented several times about how hard I trained. He told me that if I had managed to stay two more days, he would have put me ringside… in a fight. I had no prior experience in boxing or martial arts and I had been training in Muay Thai for less than a month, but people thought I was ready. That meant a lot more to me other than the fact that, hey, maybe I could fight. I’ve always said, perhaps exuding a bit of self-pride, that if I had had the proper training, I could have played soccer with the best of them. It’s just something I knew that I thrived on… competition, physical challenges, sport. The fact that I did so well in something so new helped reassure myself that I wasn’t making claims full of bs. I’m an athlete and if I put the proper time and work into the sport, I’d like to think that I’ll be great at it. And come to think of it, maybe that’s why I travel like I do and go after things… a bit recklessly… like I do. Becoming a great athlete is a dream I lost… and, I just don’t want to lose any other dreams. Fortunately, I’ve been blessed in ways I could have never imagined and it seems everyday I get to realize a new dream!

I think I’m still struggling with losing the “great athlete” dream though... I read this book, Shantaram (excellent you should read it, it's too complex to get into what it’s about right now though). It had this quote – “interested in everything, but committed to nothing.” That line kept echoing in my mind. As happy and content I was at the camp, the successful training also unearthed a disturbing disquiet. I kept thinking how that might be me as Muay Thai training reminded me of my “great athlete” dream. I want to keep skipping all over the world. I want to stay in one place long enough to learn the local language and culture. I want to train hard. I want to be on the move. I want new and exciting adventures. I want familiarity and stable friendships... and stable romance. I want to be a scholar, an athlete. I want to be an observer and a learner as well as a doer and a teacher. It all makes my head spin with uncertainty about what I should do, when and how often. What to pursue? What not to pursue? What to pursue more than others?

Sigh… I left bits of my heart scattered throughout all the stops of my recent travels. Though it seems the biggest bits are the ones I left at Tiger Muay Thai. I long to go back and I look forward to returning soon…

In the meantime, I’m back in Europe to collect the luggage I left here and then try to make my way home. I spent the night in Munich, where a couchsurfer stuffed me full of scrumptious, warm and traditionally Bavarian dishes on a cold, chilly night. It was so easy to step back into the German atmosphere. It’s funny, before, I felt like a wide-eyed stranger in wonder at Germany’s misty magic and Chistmas cheer. Now, I feel like I’m visiting an old acquaintance and discovering her irresistible charm all over again. On the train to Graz (where my luggage is) all the ski resorts dotting the German-Austrian border are still open. Skiers and snowboarders are still zigzagging down the slopes just like when I left, be it there is a little more green at the bottom of the mountains. I’m back in Europe for just 24 hours and already I want to turn all my plans upside down again… and just stay. Find a job here, enroll in university and become a great… snowboarder.

Sigh…

I still have a flight to Australia. I just post-poned it. I’m now supposed to be flying from Phuket, Thailand to Sydney on December 2nd. The plan is to go back to Phuket a month before the flight to train, play around in Australia and New Zealand and then go back and train some more. But, I’m also supposed be enrolled in University and becoming the next great snowboarder. Hmmmmm….

Check out the videos of me doing pad workouts and clinching workouts at TMT!

I look forward to seeing all of you soon!!!! Er, that is… if my plans don't do another 180… aha.
Here's a video of one of my trainers at his fight. I was taking the pics for this fight. Ritt is the one in the red and yellow shorts. His opponent was actually winning during the fight, but then Ritt got the knockout. It is customary for a fighter to celebrate his victory, even if it's a knockout. Ritt isn't showing bad sportsmanship. Others from the Tiger Muay Thai team went over to check on the opponent while Ritt was celebrating.